Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Rudest Woman I Have Ever Met

Well, tonight's train journey (the First Capital Connect 19:45 from King's Cross to Cambridge) was eventful... some woman set her kids a fantastic example by throwing a tantrum when she couldn't get her way.

I'd got to the station too late to comfortably make the 19:15, so I ended up waiting. Naturally, this meant that I was able to get on the 19:45 as soon as boarding started. I found myself a nice seat, stowed my bags and got out a drink and a newspaper. Boring and predictable just like most evening journeys.

Just before the train was due to leave, a fat woman, two other mothers, and four kids got on and decided that, as part of their arrangements, I was going to have to move. I was... non-plussed. Now, if you ask nicely, or give me a few seconds to weigh up "being surrounded by annoying kids" against "the hassle of moving", I'm blatantly going to give up my seat and move somewhere quiet.

But, no, as I had the temerity to want to sit where I was sat, the fat woman immediately goes off on one. Shouting, swearing, trying to insist that I have no right to the seat I'm in, attempting to draw analogies with airlines, making whiny passive-aggressive comments to everyone in earshot. That technique has repeatedly been shown by studies to be the best way to get exactly what you want... if what you want is a punch in the face, anyway.

Obviously goodwill goes right out of the window at that point and you're getting the full-on feature-length Stubbornness Experience (with a cartoon before and ice-cream during the intermission). Needless to say I sat there, quietly reading the Standard, with the fat woman complaining about how unreasonable I was on one side, and one of the kids kicking me in the knee on the other (clearly she sets a good example to them), thinking "wouldn't it be nice if we could all just... get along?" and "if they were doing this to a train company employee, it'd be called 'assault', according to the station posters".

I'm at a loss to understand what distorted sense of entitlement makes someone expect to be able reconfigure the seating arrangements of complete strangers in a public train, and to throw a fit if people don't immediately bend over backwards to accomodate you. It's ridiculous and, frankly, embarassing. One of the kids even suggested calling the police - presumably to tell them that "the bad man won't give up his seat for us", which I suspect is a misdemeanour at best.

As I got up to leave the train, the fat woman gave me a round of applause, which was nice. She probably meant it sarcastically, but who gives a damn? I certainly don't need anyone's approval to occupy a seat on a train, and nor will I apologise for it.

- KoW

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

We must lament and cause a fuss...

Page 7 of today's Metro - "Two die in cord accidents" - mentions a coincidental pair of tragic accidents. Two young children (one 3 years old, one 16 months) strangled themselves with blind cords they got entangled in. This is a terrible shame, and it must be heart-wrenching for their parents.

However, the grieving parents of one of the children have launched an imbecilic campaign to ban looped blind cords. Yeah, because that's the problem. A child couldn't strangle himself on a treadmill cord, or a phone cord, or a belt, or a network cable, a tangled bedspread, any reasonably-sturdy wire. Oh, no. It's only looped blind cords. So we must ban them, obviously.

Never mind that there are millions out there not killing anyone, that the alternative is more complex (and more expensive), that there is no way in hell a toddler should be able to reach a blind 4ft off the floor, no, we must Ban This Sick Filth.

I look forward to having to have my landlord fix my "dangerous" blinds, and maybe put padding on the walls at the same time, because - you never know - someone might hurt themselves. Clearly the world is too dangerous for people to live in.

Whatever happened to parental responsibility?

- KoW

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